What is friendship?

Your words broke my heart, as usual. I was happy to talk to you after 2 months, 23rd Dec 2010.... 4.39 minutes of chat lead me to cry for 2, 3 hours.... i cant remember when I slept.... And..... u...?

Wasn't I a good friend for you? Didn't I give any pleasant moment to recall....? What did I do for you? Was I torturing you? I was thinking that no one else in this world can be friends like us. But now only I got to know that you were not happy with me as friend even... Was I a monster for you?

I have nothing to say.... but no more torture from my side, you'll never get me back... Be happy. But few years later, am sure i'll forget all what you have done for me..., all the hurt and wounds will fade away, and only the pleasant memories of you will remain for me... But for you....? You have no pleasant moments of me, dtz okay, you better forget me totally. You need to forget me, you need to keep any scars caused by me..... Take care!

எங்கிருந்து வந்தாயடா?
எனைப்பாடு படுத்த-நீ
எனைப்பாடு படுத்த


எங்கு கொண்டு சென்றாயடா
எனைத்தேடி எடுக்க-நான்
எனைத்தேடி எடுக்க


இன்பதுன்பம்
துன்பம் இன்பம் இன்பமென்று
நீ சோகம் ரெண்டும் கொடுக்க
சுகம் ரெண்டும் கொடுக்க.... ( நீ எங்கிருந்து )


வானவில்லாய் ஆணும்
வண்ணம் ஏழாய் பெண்ணும்
இருந்தால் இன்னும்
வானின் அழகு கூடும்
சுட்டு விரலாய் நீயும்
கட்டைவிரலாய் நானும்
எழுதும் எதுவும் கவிதையாக மாறும்
விடாமலே உனை தொடர்ந்திடும் எனை


ஒரே ஒருமுறை மனதினில் நினை
ம்ம்ம்ம்ம் என்னை என்ன செய்தாயடா (எங்கிருந்து)


வாசல்வாழையோடு வார்த்தையாடலாச்சு
இனியும் பேச புதிய கதைகள் ஏது
ஒருவர் வாழும் உலகில்
மௌனம்தானே பேச்சு
மொழிகள் எதுக்கு
இருவர் இணையும் போது


விழாக்களில் இவள் தனித்திருக்கிறாள்
கனாக்களில் தினம் விழித்திருக்கிறாள்
ம்ம்ம்ம் .. என்னை என்ன செய்தாயடா? (எங்கிருந்து)

hmmm.... Good Bye!

It still hurt badly...

I felt as if someone had driven a sharp knife into my heart, stabbing my soul. I was speechless; I could not believe that this was actually happening. He said that he is in love with her since two years back... and "I too love you da" He said pausing, "But only as a friend". I started shivering uncontrollably, even though it was a warm evening. I leaned against a wall for support. I was shattered to say the least. It’s all over, I told myself. Everything is finished.

I wondered how he could do this to me. This was the same guy who had once supported me through a very difficult phase in life. The same guy who went out of his way to make things easier for me. The same one who used to tell me how much he loved me and what I meant to him. And now, he had dumped me like a piece of garbage. I shut my eyes tightly in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the tears from flowing. It still felt too horrible to be true.

All the moments we had once shared came back to me... all the words we have spoken....  He initiated a friendship which was growing deep. " I love you so much, you can never know what you mean to me. Don't ever leave me.", he said. I promised myself I never would even though I was keeping silent as answer. At that time, I believed that he was the love of my life and that our relationship would last forever.


I was wrong. The break up was inevitable and I should have seen it coming. Lately he had not been the same person I had once fallen in love with. He had changed a lot over time, fallen in love with her, but I had been forcing myself to believe that he was still the same. I suddenly realized something; It was not HIM I had been in love with, it was what I thought he was. I had been in love with an illusion, which was broken now. I got to know from his own mouth saying that HE is in love with her.

I don't remember for how long I cried, the tears just would not stop. So many things came to mind all at once. Why did I ever let him manipulate my feelings? Why did I trust him so blindly? Why did I give him so much power that he could hurt me so badly? There had been a time when I used to give in to his emotional blackmail, patiently tolerated his mood swings and put up with his indifferent behavior. I had been too madly in love with him that I wanted to be there for him whenever he needed me. Even if it meant getting hurt myself. Not all was bad in our relationship, though the tears greatly outnumbered the smiles. The quarrels we had were never seemed to be an issue for me, they seemed to be adding more love to my love... but unfortunately, not for HIM.


It still hurt badly. Even if the love had been an illusion, the heartbreak was real. You can never love someone who does not deserve it, but you can get addicted. And I was badly addicted to him. My mornings began with his thoughts, he occupied my mind throughout the day, and he was the one I prayed for before going to sleep. His voice echoed in my ears all day long, and it was him before my eyes even when he was not there. In pursuing him, I had lost myself. That’s why I was feeling so lifeless when he left me. I had no life of my own!


He is no longer in my life, I have to change my mind... have to pursue my hobbies. I got a bundle of books I had been planning to read for long.... I'm planning to spend more time in the company with my new friends. Getting over a past relationship is like overcoming an addiction, I need to keep myself so busy that I don't go back to my old ways.  I wanted to move on, but HE still wants to be friends. I'm in my best efforts to avoid him. This so-called friendship hurt even more than getting dumped. My decision is correct this time, not like before... I can't even still believe me why I trusted him blindly...


Sometimes life teaches you lessons in such a painful way that you can never forget. With time the wounds heal and fade away. All that remains are the sweet memories of a distant past. Why my love ended in such a bitter way? Hope I would be able to recall at least some of the sweet memories I have spent with him after few years....  

Feel my love....

You tell me you love me as a best friend. '&' yes I believe that. we are best friends. but you dont seem interested in a love relationship, just a best friend relationship.I sit online for hours until i see your name appear on chat.I’ll wait for days staring at my phone just to have you say hi, but i really do hate it when you talk to other girls.I know you dont like them but it makes me feel jealous. this is how I know that I love you. i hope that you end up with someone you love, but just remember that even though I'm your best friend, I really do love you. I think we are meant to be and fate has planned for us to meet by becoming friends. I love you... as a girl...and as best friends!

I don't realise how much you love you until I see you with another girl. and that the biggest regret is not saying 'I love you' earlier. It breaks heart even more when I see you together and you're looking at her, exactly the same way as you used to look at me. And all I can do is tell myself that you're not mine anymore, you never will be....

I really think there's a reason that I like you so much. Like something is telling me not to let you go. Every time I follow my heart... it leads me to you. I mean... what other explanation is there. Why is it that you are all I can think about? Why is it that no matter how upset I am... I see you and I can't help but smile? Why is it that when you smile at me... I feel like flying? And even when you had broken my heart, and hurt me as much as anyone could ever hurt me... when you lied to me... and I don't hate you at all... and why do I still feel those same feelings? It's crazy to love someone that has hurt you... but it's crazier to think that the someone that hurt you loves you. I may be crazier.... anyway, I like to be crazier.

I hope may be someday in future, when its raining outside & you are sitting near a window, deep in thoughts, memory about the time we shared together drifts through your mind & a beautiful tear falls down from your eyes, you smile thinking about me, & believe me that day i'll be very happy not because I made you Smile, but because I was worth your tears.... At that time... Missing you could turn from pain to pleasure, if I knew you were missing me too...

என்னை மட்டும் விட்டு விட்டு பூமி இங்கு சுத்துவதென்ன....

வானத்தை விட்டு விட்டு மேகங்கள் போவதென்ன
வாசத்தை விட்டு விட்டு பூவெல்லாம் பூத்ததென்ன
பாதத்தை விட்டு விட்டு பயணங்கள் நீள்வதென்ன
தாகத்தை விட்டு விட்டு தண்ணீரின் தேவையென்ன
என்னை மட்டும் விட்டு விட்டு பூமி இங்கு சுத்துவதென்ன
கண்கள் இரண்டை கட்டி விட்டு காண சொல்லும் காட்சியென்ன

கடல் அலைமோத
நிகழ்ந்தது கிடையாது
கனவு அலைகள் போல
ஓய்யாது ஹோ...
துணிவுகள் போல
விரல் தொடும் நிலமாக
இனிமைகள் வந்து சேரும்
நேரம் ஏது ஏது

வானத்தை விட்டு விட்டு மேகங்கள் போவதென்ன
வாசத்தை விட்டு விட்டு பூவெல்லாம் பூத்ததென்ன

வானொலியில் பாட்டு வரும் எனது பாடல் எதுவோ
வீதியெல்லாம் பூக்கடைகள் எனது பூவும் எதுவோ
கோயிலிலே தீப விழா எனது தீபம் எதுவோ
பாதம் எல்லாம் கடற்கரையில் எனது பாதமும் எதுவோ
தேடி தேடி தேய்ந்து போனேன் தேடல் என்று தீருமோ
காதல் நீரில் ஆசை நீரை தேடி என்ன இலாபமோ

வானத்தை விட்டு விட்டு மேகங்கள் போவதென்ன
வாசத்தை விட்டு விட்டு பூவெல்லாம் பூத்ததென்ன

காகிதமாய் நானிருந்தேன் கவிதை எழுதி பழக
நான் எழுதும் வேலையிலே மொழிகள் யாவும் தயங்க
தூரிகையாய் நானிருந்தேன் அழகை நான் வரைய
நான் வரையும் வேலையிலே நிறங்கள் ஓடி ஒழிய
வேறு வேறு வேஷம் போட்டேன் காணவில்லை யாருமே
மேலும் மேலும் சோர்ந்து போனேன் மாறவில்லை கோணமே


வானத்தை விட்டு விட்டு மேகங்கள் போவதென்ன
வாசத்தை விட்டு விட்டு பூவெல்லாம் பூத்ததென்ன
பாதத்தை விட்டு விட்டு பயணங்கள் நீள்வதென்ன
தாகத்தை விட்டு விட்டு தண்ணீரின் தேவையென்ன
என்னை மட்டும் விட்டு விட்டு பூமி இங்கு சுத்துவதென்ன
கண்கள் இரண்டை கட்டி விட்டு காண சொல்லும் காட்சியென்ன