A letter for you....

Dear Twin soul.....

You may not know how much I love you. I regret for the chance I got... but, I was not clear when you asked... Actually saying, you didn't ask me at all, everything you said was only for joking.., at last you used to conclude so. Then, how can I say what I think? On the other hand, how can you expect me to say that I love you. You should have made the first move if you really loved me. But it's too late for me to find yours was just a crush. But deeply, madly I'm in love with you. 

Only my few friends know it, and the blog, and you too... at least I'm satisfied you got to know that.. I will be waiting for you forever.. until you see my obituary on newspapers.. I just wanna go away from you... because, It hurts... I can't see you with someone else... I cannot bear it. 

Even before one or two months, I asked you whether you love anyone. You clearly said NO. But now you're saying, you should have told that before 2 years cz you love someone else. I have no way... You used to say that I will be in first rank for you in any circumstances, but I have never thought that I would be a second option for you in love. 

In first year of our college life, you said that you don't love her since you like me and that was only a crush. But I was having only a friendship with you. Therefore I decided to leave you.. threw your heart away... started fighting for nothing, even insulted you. But you came and spoke to me again and again even though I insulted you. I remember our FA class- 2007 October- just 3 years before, you shed tears for me. I understood how much you love me and you care for me. And then.. I started true friendship (and may be love tooo) with you apart from the proposal you got. I remember... that once you told me when I was fighting with you for nothing, that you will face the same situation once you love someone else and you'll suffer like me when they cheat on you... But I have never thought that would happen by you... 

But now only I understand that affection you had on me is only friendship and may be a sort of crush.. but not love. But I truly love you da... I can't live without you. You can't completely escape from me saying that you didn't give me hopes.. but I can't put the blame on you too. Because you might not wanna say it directly. But in several situation, you told that indirectly, now I can feel that you meant them. Once you told that I was fighting with you like a devil whereas she is an angel who never fights with you, and you started to defend her... (and lot more... refused to change your email ID, not giving your mobile, your friends teasing you and her etc. etc.) But I'm a fool and I couldn't figure out your mind. I'm sorry... I didn't know that, It would have hurt you as well. Whenever I asked you whether you love someone else, you said NO. But suddenly you are saying YES. You gave your heart to someone else.... I regret for throwing it. Now I'm sitting in darkness and thinking about you... It hurts....

You might not remember... once I asked you, You are the one who should take the decision whom you going to marry ... You said, you'll be waiting until one of us leave... But I have never thought that you would decide on it... and hide it from me... Why am the victim?? It's my fate... 

Only my blog knows my feelings... but you found that too, so I started to scribble on another one.... Those days you were waiting for my telephone call. And whenever I called you, you talked with so much of affection    and passion. But in the last year, you were shouting when I call. No matter you were studying or not, you never forgot to blame me to waste your time. But you had fun with your friends as usual. 

Everyday whenever I leave home, I pray God to kill me in a second in a road accident. But you know, he never gives me what I wanted. I'm still suffering on the world, It may have written to me to that I have to live without you. Everything was on my finger tips, but I couldn't take it to my hands. 

For each and every decisions, you consulted me. But for the big decision about your life, you didn't even tell me that you have decided so. You might have thought that I would not like... or I may influence your own preference and decisions. You were wrong, I would never say NO for what you like... even it hurts me. I remember well, you told me about the proposal even after few weeks. I'll never be a disturbance for you. I thought to leave you.. cz I don't wanna make sin, since you both love each other. I know the mind of a girl, she would never like her boy to talking with another girl this much often. I'm leaving... Time to say Good bye to you, but not for my love. I'll be loving you forever and ever...

I wonder now whether we had a great close friendship... cz you didn't know my mind and I also couldn't understand your mind. But we were boasting that we understand each other very well and we are the bestest friends... I doubt.

Even for small things, we had fights, we had longer arguments. But i don't wanna argue with you on this. It's your life, your decision. But I have never thought that I would be a second option for you. I have no objections... I'll be waiting for you da. Loving someone doesn't mean you should own them. I'll be loving you forever.

Take care my dear. Your life will be wonderful as you desire. It'll be full of fun... as you always say. Have a great life!! Wish you all the best!!!